simplify

I just want to to simplify everything. I hate when things are over-complicated for no apparent reason. Sometimes I do this with God. I do this in my relationships and when I get stressed.

I am preparing for a wedding and the thing that I love most besides the fact that I'm marrying my best friend is that we both like to keep things simple. Neither of us like things over the top (thank God because a groomzilla is not attractive). Not only are we getting married but I'm moving up to Syracuse. I've lived in my room since I was about 10. That's a good 13 years worth of crap in here. Now I'm no hoader (secretly I am obsessed with those TV shows) but I do have a lot of stuff. Last week I donated four bags of clothes and shoes that I haven't worn probably since high school. I also gave my sister my desk which forced me to go through my drawers and purge whatever I could. As overwhelming as it is I love being in my room now. It is no where near completed but my drawers are dissolving and it will be a lot easier when I need to pack.

I also have a problem with wishing my life away. I set deadlines, or goals and wish for them to get here sooner. For example, the second I start to drive back to Long Island after leaving Ian I begin focusing on the next time I see him. I don't think it's wrong, I love him and just want to be with him. But I find myself wishing that the time would speed up and sometimes I miss what is going on right now. I don't think God wants us wishing our lives away. I remember being a kid and wishing I could turn 13. Believe me, that's one wish I shouldn't have made. I mean really...13? What an awkward time to want to arrive at. Either way I think simplicity frees my mind to put things into perspective and enjoy life where I am at...as hard as it is.

in the sun, thunder, and rain

I am extremely frustrated lately with traffic. Since I live on (or in for those not from here) Long Island I am plagued with the fact that working 9 to 5 is absolutely obnoxious because of rush hour traffic. The LIE is continually backed up, and a trip that should take 15-20 minutes turns into 1 hour or longer depending on the day. This is a rant. I realize this. I cannot stand it, but hear me out, I'm not discounting any other location and the traffic you'll find there. I am just fed up with Long Island traffic.

Someone told me a story today about how he was sitting in stand-still traffic on the LIE when the driver in the car in front of him got out of his truck. The man strutted straight up to the person telling me the story and tapped on the window. He began to curse out and scream that he was cut-off (now remember...stand-still traffic...no one is moving). My friend stayed in his car and suggested that the guy got back in his truck where his son was eagerly watching. The irate truck-driver continued to scream and began threatening, explaining he would follow him home. He eventually got back in his truck and pretended to follow for a couple miles...traffic.

Now I'm not blaming that guy's anger management issues on the LIE, however I can see where he may begin to lose it. Sometimes while I'm sitting there I wish I could be in a plane looking at the miles and miles of ant-sized cars all backed up. It's kind of sad to think that most people in this work caravan can't stand their jobs. Most are working paycheck to paycheck. Many are thankful they have at least something. I sit there knowing there's more, yet the bills need to be paid.

I've always had a hard time with balancing practicality and spirituality. In my heart I'm signing up for risks and in my head I'm talking myself out of them. This morning started very similar. It felt like another monotonous Wednesday as I forced myself out of bed. I stuck with my morning routine and left earlier than my usual time trying to beat the traffic. Travel coffee cup in hand I merged onto the good ole LIE. The sky was blue and the traffic update stated the usual, "Delays to Exit..." The bumper car game started and the sky was no longer blue. Storm clouds rolled overhead and the raindrops began. They soon fell harder and faster and next thing I knew I was in the middle of a torrential downpour. Behind me were blue skies, off in the distance I could see it clearing. Just in my present location I was being drowned. Lightning bolts darted around and the thunder shook the pavement.

In all the commotion I felt super close to God. I felt him leading me on, reminding me of what lies ahead. I won't always be stuck. Within 10 minutes the rain passed and the sun was shining. I didn't have a spectacular day and it wasn't dramatically altered. However I did feel God close to me, and what can be more important than that?

Christie

Christie: "I connected Blogger to my http://flavors.me page - http://flavors.me/christiexlynn"