2010!

"so this is the new year, and i don't feel any different," [deathcabforcutie]

this line has always been my anthem.
every year i always make this the thought of my new year's eve.
i always think of a week into january.
when everything is supposed to be "different."
when new year's resolutions should be in full swing.
it justifies not having to change.
it makes it easier to settle.

but this isn't my anthem anymore.
i've grown up this year, and i've done a lot of soul searching.
i know who i am, and who i want to be.
i'm not singing this tune.
because the truth is, i already feel different.
i'm excited for what the new year is going to bring.
bring it on 2010.

the swell season

maybe i was born to hold [you] in these arms.

oh the holidays...
bring out the best,
and the worst
in us all.

desire

John 17:24 (New King James Version)

24 “Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me; for You loved Me before the foundation of the world.


de⋅sire
–verb (used with object)
1. to wish or long for; crave; want.
2. to express a wish to obtain; ask for; request
–noun
3. a longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction or enjoyment
4. an expressed wish; request.
5. something desired.

this is my God. He desires me. this is amazing.
i love him.

every prayer

I heard 'em say He brought me from a mighty long way
And now today I can testify that I believe it
And on my way I realized He's the one who kept me
When the storms of life arise, sleepless nights and desperate cries
He has captured every tear assuring me He hears

Every prayer, waiting on the answer only to discover He is near
And He hears every prayer for He has done great things
And I believe He's a God that always answers prayer

I heard 'em say the prayers of the righteous availeth much
And now today I can testify that I believe it
Now on my way I wanna let you know that He will keep you
When the storms of life arise, sleepless nights and desperate cries
He's captured every tear assuring me that He hears

Every prayer, waiting on the answer only to discover He is near
And He hears every prayer for He has done great things
I believe He's a God that always answers prayer

Don't despise the tears you've cried
Or the prayers that you have prayed
Heaven heard your every word
And the answer, the answer's on the way

I heard 'em say there is an answer on the way
My God has done so many great things, great things
Hold on and you will see there is an answer on the way
My God has done so many great things, great things

Oh, there is an answer on the way
My God has done so many great things, great things
Hold on, hold on, there is an answer on the way
My God has done so many great things, great things

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
You can make it, you can make it
You can make it for he has done great things

I believe He's a God that always
I believe He's a God that always
I believe He's a God who always answers prayers
Yes, He does

catch 22

"You are the dark ocean bottom
And I am the fast sinking anchor
Should I fall for you"

i'm trying to realize that timing is key.
i can't drop anchor too soon,
i need to see if it's the right place to station myself.
i need to know if this is where i should be,
but your waters are so inviting,
and i have a calm that i've never felt,
but i don't wanna jump ship.
i can give orders that sound good to everyone,
but if i have to follow them it's harder.
i'm just trying to trust.
trying to hope.
trying to dream.
i'm done looking for a place to fish.
i have my eyes set on the catch,
and that's all i see.

if i am your girl, will you be my guy?

song of sweetness

this was in the devotional that i read today, i thought it was beautiful, i've read it before but i figured i'd share it.

once i heard a song of sweetness,
as i cleft the morning air,
sounding in its blest completeness,
like a tender, pleading prayer;
and i sought to find the singer,
whence the wondrous song was borne;
and i found a bird, sore wounded,
pinioned by a cruel thorn.

i have seen a soul in sadness,
while its wings with pain were furl'd,
giving hope, and cheer and gladness
that should bless a weeping world
and i knew that life of sweetness,
was of pain and sorrow borne,
and a stricken soul was singing,
with its heart against the thorn.

ye are told of One who loved you,
of a Saviour crucified,
ye are told of nails that pinioned,
and a spear that pierced His side;
ye are told of cruel scourging,
of a Saviour bearing scorn,
and He died for your salvation,
with His brow against a thorn.

ye "are not above the Master."
will you breathe a sweet refrain?
and His grace will be sufficient,
when your heart is pierced with pain.
will you live to bless His loved ones,
tho' your life be bruised and torn,
like the bird that sang so sweetly,
with its heart against a thorn?
-Selected from Streams in the Desert