shine

in days where the sun doesn't always shine brightly some situations can brighten your day.
the kind of things you wait all week to hear, maybe you lost sleep because of it.
maybe your appetite significantly decreased and you kept forgetting what was next, because in the back of your mind you were wondering about [that] maybe you cried, maybe you laughed at yourself thinking "there's no way" and then when it happens all the ways you pre-imagined yourself reacting fall away. and you are speechless. it takes time to sink in. maybe it hasn't fully felt real yet. maybe it won't for a while. but something in you picks up that fight. and you know deep down that things will get better. [and maybe they've only just begun.] and you weren't an idiot. all the times you felt that. it shows that you aren't now, and you have to accept that. maybe you didn't think this would happen. maybe you didn't think you would ever try. and now you have, and you didn't fail, if anything you're better off, way better off. and things are starting to look like they are making sense. maybe you've been so scared, of following your heart, because it's mislead you so many times. you didn't know if you could take anymore. what would it do to you? how would you cope? but somewhere there was a disconnect from those thoughts, and the real you shone through all the stuff that clouds your thoughts. maybe you have no idea what i'm talking about. maybe you do. but either way, don't give up. keep the fight in you. you're worth it. no matter what anyone else tries to tell you. no matter how many things disappoint you. the sun has to shine eventually. and when it doesn't, look for it shining in your life. it's all in the little things.