still can't get over it.

oh how did i miss this?

how did i miss a movie about bob dylan played by christian bale?! that just blows my mind entirely.
where was i in 2007 when it came out?

i have no idea

the yankees won the world series for the 27th time.
i was very into watching each game, i'm not even gonna lie.
i forgot about homework and just enjoyed watching the games with my dad,
bonding time. he even made hot wings one night and i chanted "i'm one of the boys now daddy" over and over again til he gave me that look. you know the look, like what on earth are you talking about, and you're left feeling like an idiot but you still have the urge to do whatever it was that you were doing one more time. so i did.

i stayed after class tonight and showed my professor pictures of my trip to China. she was completely shocked that i lived there for two months, and i enjoyed showing that part of who i am. we got into discussing her travels and she showed my pictures of one of her trips to Japan. it was pretty cool connecting to someone who has a doctorate and is so incredibly brilliant. for 15 minutes we were on the same level, there was no degree talk, no status or ranking, we were two women showing pictures of our travels, talking about food, hotels, airports, and the bathrooms there!

i have accepted the fact that i am a teachers pet. i have also accepted the fact that suffolk is not the place for me. its just a stepping stone. that i can go to scsu or wherever i want to go. i have the ability to and just because its scary shouldn't keep me from it. i am a nerd. i like buying new notebooks, and using cool pens, and my mechanical pencils that help me be extremely precise when writing music. every paper i write comes back with a red letter A on it. i almost feel guilty when i'm asked "what'd ya get?" but i did the work.

i had a soy latte at starbucks today. it took me an hour to drink. that's the longest i think it has ever taken me to drink what i got at starbucks, i was impressed.

minus the cigarette

then he's perfect.

i think these are awesome

i want them! or a polaroid camera <3

turn it around

take what i have, everything in me,
and turn it around.
please make it beautiful,
because that all i really long for,
to have the things that i regret,
turned around and not be the things that pin me down.
i'm not ashamed, i know i am forgiven.
just please let me not get caught in the shadows.
i wanna see your light.

maybe

i want someone to hold my hand,
and tell me when it's raining that the sun will come out soon.
i want to have someone draw me a picture so that i can put it on my bulletin board.
i know you exist but i'm getting weary.
i don't want to be cynical but it's hard when i'm surrounded by cheap imitations.
i find myself not connecting, because i know ultimately it'll be a sham.
it's easier to pull away if there's no lasting emotions attached to it.
i want someone to walk with on the beach, who will wear scarves with me, and let them blow in the wind.
who will button up their vests, and take pictures in the leaves.
who will play music with me, and drink hot coffee, and watch my favorite movies.
maybe what im describing is just a friend.
maybe that's all i need.