Sunday, June 7, 2009

setting the sails


"we cannot create the wind or set it in motion, but we can set our sails to catch it when it comes!"

i so long to be positioned, preparing and ready to pick up momentum at the second i hear His voice.

what a joy it is when He comes and picks you up and sets you on course, in the direction He wants you to go.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

truth honesty all of the above?

sometimes i'll admit i get pretty annoyed when i see things that are far from the truth.
i feel like with all this technology people can pretend that they are whoever they wanna be,
that they do whatever will make them cool, and can choose to edit or revise their lives.
it's kinda scary when you think about it.
put your best foot forward, and if that's not good enough lie!
it really makes me sick.
it bothers me how often i've fallen for it.
people that say they play guitars and yet don't even know which string is which, or how to even tune it. doesn't that come with playing it? wouldn't you have to pick it up in order to do so?
i'm over people enhancing their few accomplishments.
i'm over people pretending to live when in all actuality they can't get outta bed.
wake up people, and live the life, don't just talk about it.
talk is cheap.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

From Streams in the desert

*I re-wrote this in plain everyday english.
I thought this was probably the coolest things I've read in a devotional.
Plus it was extremely fitting because I was in Connecticut on a worship seminar weekend.
The entire day we were studying chords, and modes, and key signatures and a bunch of really great useful stuff. (http://www.ignite2008.com/)

There are songs that can only be learned in the valley.
No art can teach them; no rules of voice can make them perfectly sung.
Their music is in the heart.
They are songs of memory, of personal experience.
They bring out their burden from the shadow of the past;
they mount on the wings of yesterday.

John says that even in heaven there will be a song that can only fully be sung by the sons of earth- the strain of redemption.
Doubtless is a song of triumph,
a hymn of victory to Christ who made us free.
But the sense of triumph must come from the memory of chains.

No angel, no archangel can sing it so sweetly as I can.
To sing it as I sing it, they must pass through my exile, and they can't do this.
None can learn it but the children of the cross.

And so, my soul, you are receiving a music lesson from your Father.
You are being educated for the choir invisible.
There are parts of the symphony that no one can take but you.

There are chords too minor for the angels. 
There may be heights in the symphony that are beyond the scale- heights that angels alone can reach; but there are depths that belong to you, and that can only be touched by you!

Your Father is training you for the part the angels can't sing; and the school is sorrow.
I have heard many say that he sends sorrow to prove you, but! he sends sorrow to educate you, to train you for the choir invisible.

In the night he is preparing your song.
In the valley he is tuning your voice. 
In the clouds he is deepening your chords.
In the rain he is sweetening your melody.
In the cold he is molding your expression.
In the transition from hope to fear he is perfecting your lights.

Don't despise the school of sorrow, O my soul; It will give you a unique part in the universal song.
--George Matheson

Just a little bit about George...
(Scottish theologian George Matheson was the remarkable blind preacher and hymn-writer of 'O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go.' Born on March 27, 1842 in Glasgow, Scotland, he was totally blind when he wrote this heartwarming hymn.
Dr Matheson had partial vision as a boy and by the time he was 18, he was completely blind. He described his writing as the "fruit of much mental suffering." He never married, and was aided by a devoted sister throughout his ministry. She learned Greek, Latin, and Hebrew in order to aid him in his studies.

Matheson's Career and Recognition

Despite handicap, Matheson had a brilliant career at the Glasgow Academy, University of Glasgow and the Church of Scotland Seminary. Amazingly, he obtained BA, MA and BD degrees. He was a scholar and graduated with honors. He received the honorary DD of the University of Edinburgh in 1879.

For 18 years, Matheson became parish minister of Innellan, Argyllshire. He was lecturer at Baird and St Giles, and a pastor of the 2,000 member St. Bernard's Parish (1886). The University of Aberdeen conferred on him an honorary LLD (1902). He became one of Scotland's outstanding preachers and pastors, where his eloquent preaching consistently attracted large crowds.


Thursday, May 28, 2009

Faint with Love

I stayed up all night looking for the one my heart loves,
and there was no sight of you.
I kept fighting sleep, so I got on my feet,
and went out looking for you.

And my heart longs for you,
but where could you be?
Others tried to pose as you,
but I could see through their disguise,
cause I know there was no fire like the fire in my lovers eyes.

Where are you my lover?
I've been searching all night.
Please return o me,
cause I can't see clearly without the light of your eyes.

For I am faint,
For I am faint,
For I am faint with love.

waves

waves break on the shoreline,
and i wish they would carry away all my thoughts.
because the morning always comes 
with all the worries that get in the way.

so come break on me
so come drag me back
so come wash over me
so come pick me up
and carry me away

should i just let go
and let the waters overtake me?
are you the water surrounding me?
or the sand that is grounding me?
are you the waves pounding on my head?

why don't you find me?
(i'm not hiding)
why don't you come pick me up,
(cause i've been waiting)
and carry me away
(come keep me safe)

so come break on me
so come drag me back
so come wash over me
so come pick me up
and carry me away


cause i was tossed,
and now i've turned,
i've been blind,
but now i've learned,
so please come rescue me
cause i'm done fighting for my breath
if you don't show up
i just might sink.

Testing, testing, one-two-three

you wanted us to be a lighthouse, 
but how will any ships be able to see,
if you just walked out on me,
TESTING TESTING one two three
what is the purpose of this one, this time?

the storm door is flung open wide,
and once it shuts it's over
the cold sea air is bringing chills down my spine,
and all i can see is the staircase i have to face alone again

TESTING TESTING one two three
is there anybody out there,
is there anything for me?
TESTING TESTING one two three
when the storm rolls in,
they always leave.
TESTING TESTING one two three
the tide is rising higher,
and the day is growing bleak,
TESTING TESTING one two three
by this time the sun is set,
and i can get these broken promises outta my head.

but i'll climb those stairs on my own,
with the candle burning bright,
cause who's gonna do it when they're said and gone
i'll point the light to those darkened seas,
i'll give up a life of love, so others can see,
testing testing one two three,
all i hope for is the strength that will carry me.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

what consumes you?

A question was posed, "What do you put before God, or in place of God?"
I sat there thinking, really thinking about it...and to be honest I answered honestly.
I am making God my #1 priority, and I'm experiencing the responses to doing so.

I feel like I've been scared in the past of making God #1 because every time I try everything else gets stripped away, relationships quickly end, friends walk away, my finances get tested, and life just gets harder in general before it gets easier. So for a while I procrastinated in doing so. I lived a normal life, had boyfriends, had friends, had jobs, went to school, did church etc. you get the point.
But... (there's always a but) I got so sick of it.
So I would start off by trying to change individual situations, such as a church, or taking a semester off, or ending a relationship, or starting a new job. Things seemed to be good, and then I'd be right back at square one.
It wasn't until about two months ago that I really got sick of it all. I was in a dead-end relationship and secretly thought maybe one day it could turn around, I was putting everything in front of my relationship with God. And I had enough. I declared I wanted God to be #1, and just as usual everything seemed to fade away. 
Where am I at now?
Well, on the outside it looks like I have nothing going for me currently, but deep down I know I'm in a waiting situation. I am putting God first, and I have that peace.
I feel like people sometimes over glamorize everything with God. "Oh put him first and it all works!" Well, yes, but it takes work, it takes sacrifice, it takes commitment, it doesn't always happen overnight, and when those things get taken, or walk away, or treat you wrongly how are you gonna respond? In anger cause bad stuff is happening? Or in joy because God is using this all to bring him more glory. Put you actions where your mouth is. Make him number one, the longer you wait, the more junk you're gonna collect that you'll have to give away.